


I Could Have Loved You Properly

by mithrilstarlight



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-20 22:39:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6027994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mithrilstarlight/pseuds/mithrilstarlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world ended in fire and chaos. Padmé wanted to find hope for the future for the sake of those who followed her. Obi-Wan simply wanted to find a place in this new chaos. They found each other, instead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Could Have Loved You Properly

**Author's Note:**

> As per usual, I pulled a prompt from Tumblr and just sort of ran with it. It's very much not my usual type of writing, nor my usual pairing (obviously) but I'm also a sucker for them so here we are.

Padmé was the kind of leader that, in this day and age, people could only dream of. And yet, there she was. She led the pack. She led the survivors as they trekked across the empty landscape. The needs of her group always came before her own. At every instance, it was a unanimous vote for her continued leadership. People trusted her with their lives. They trusted her with their futures.

Obi-Wan had seen things, but nothing as bad as this. The world was gone. It wasn’t even a wreckage he could help to rebuild. He felt lost without the comfortable structure of society. He had devoted his life to defending that very structure, which had just crumbled before his eyes. A military man was strong, though. A military man would survive anything, even the end, as long as he had someone to lean on. It was a shame that Anakin had been caught in the crossfire.

Padmé had led her people to a deserted village, if it even qualified as that. A small clump of houses that were in reasonable condition. She and her scouts checked every last inch of the place before giving the all-clear. They weren’t being hunted, but the desolation drove some to madness and the extreme. It was better to be safe than sorry. She helped to build the fire and cook for her people, and they praised her as though she were their savior. Her heart broke a little. She was only doing what was right.

Obi-Wan saw the fires from miles away. It was the first sign of life he had come across in, well, months. He approached with caution, allowing the group to search him thoroughly before welcoming him. He was greeted by a woman: their leader. She was like an angel, guiding and protecting the lives of these people. Yet, behind her eyes, there burned a fire of passion and rage that struck him dumb. It wasn’t until he heard shouts from elsewhere that his gaze was broken. By some miracle, perhaps one of this angel’s, Anakin had lived. Anakin was here, wounded, but still alive. Obi-Wan shared a look with his comrade, and saw how the younger man also let his gaze linger on Padmé. Then again, everyone’s gaze lingered on the woman who had the guts to lead them through this hell.

Padmé was glad to have another military figure among her people. It gave them comfort, as was expected. Anakin had been helpful, and kind, and she knew that he was fond of her, but he was too hot-headed. He was too bold and too brash and too much for her to take. Not when she had people to lead. She couldn’t allow herself the guilty pleasure. Obi-Wan was different, though. He was cool and collected. He was more reserved than Anakin, although with more wit. Obi-Wan was an officer, not a soldier like Anakin. She gladly accepted the officer’s advice and guidance whenever possible. He was the first to not blindly submit to her “democratic” rule.

Obi-Wan watched Padmé, growing ever more fond of her with every passing day. He offered her guidance and help where he could, and simply conversation for the rest. She was open, and funny, and incredibly kind. She wanted to take the people to a larger settlement out east. Many of them were from her home town. The rest had been picked up along the way, like Anakin and himself. Slowly but surely, he began to notice that she treated him differently. He couldn’t quite put a finger on it, but whenever she looked at him, he felt his heart skip a beat. She would never know, though.

Padmé found it more difficult to resist her temptations around Obi-Wan. He was her equal in so many ways and it had been so long since she had spoken without feeling like her word was law. Her people came first, as much as she wished it otherwise. That guilty pleasure seemed so much more possible when Obi-Wan was around, and eventually she caved. They were alone, discussing routes and rations when she leaned across the table and kissed him. It was warm and soft, and he began to kiss her back. 

Obi-Wan spent the next week re-living that kiss in his mind every minute. Looking at her, he felt his body burn with the desire to repeat that perfect moment. But they were out in the open again, without the comfort of buildings and walls and doors to keep prying eyes away. And so he waited in agony until they could have another private moment. Every fiber of him was at war about what he would do. He couldn’t deny his desire for her, both in mind and body. But who in their right mind would make the ridiculous choice of, dare he think it, love, in a time like this.

Padmé had grown quite familiar with Obi-Wan’s mannerisms over the course of their months together. Since their kiss, he had become more familiar with her in speech and contact. But he still kept his distance in public. His eyes, though, betrayed his every thought and feeling. Whenever she caught his gaze, she could see the turmoil inside his brain. He would always give a soft smile, and then respectfully return her attention back to their task at hand. He was a better strategist and survivalist than she could've hoped for. It was almost too perfect, to have someone so neatly compliment her leadership with his own.

Obi-Wan nearly cried with joy at the next not-in-ruins town. She decided that the group would stay and resupply for a week in order to take full advantage of their luck. She was a guardian angel to these people, and despite his military-hardened perspective, he also saw her as a kind of saving grace. He only wished that the world hadn’t ended. Maybe then he could properly love her the way he wanted to. Even as she guided him gently out of the public eye, his heart ached that they could never have the life he wished he could give her. He wished with every bone in his body that he could give her the peace and stability that she was working so hart to attain.

Padmé knew that he was cautious. She knew that he was afraid of what would happen if they admitted what was between them. It didn’t take a genius to see that their lives weren’t exactly suited for the love they felt for each other. Maybe before all of this, perhaps. Maybe when all of this is over and they’ve permanently settled, perhaps. But right now she had to be a leader. He had to be a protector. Together they could save these people, and for all of that she thought they deserved a bit of happiness amidst the dark.


End file.
